hmmm.

wow. conversation. it can be so good and necessary and so scary too. and also overwhelming.

i'm a woman of action. i like to do and follow through and so talking and postulating make me almost frightened of the future. It seems so unattainable and looming. I can get easily overwhelmed talking about a topic I can do nothing about.

I guess the only thing I can do when those situations come up is pray.

Those things I can do nothing about, God can.

Hmmm. Even as I write those words I'm comforted. Well, I've had one of those conversations, and I think I need to do what I've just discovered.

You're on a need to know basis.

Ten Random Things:

10. Hates birds, loves jewelry with birds on it.
9.5 Is facinated with peacock feathers right now.
9. Locked myself out of the bank on Sunday, when I was working by myself. My manager had to drive 15 min. to let me back in.
8. You know how people's biggest fears are like spiders and heights... mine is entrepreneurship
7. Favorite candy flavor: peach
6. My travel goal for the next 5 years is New York. 2 years Seattle. Honeymoon: somewhere beachy ;)
5. Really loves the Jackyl song "I'm a lumberjack" in which they use a chainsaw as a musical instrument.
4. My blowdryer broke. I have air dryed for the last week.
3. I'm now addicted to Heroes and Arrested Development.
2. This will be my 5th year as a counselor at Royal Family Kids Camp. This is my first year to be a counselor for an 11 year old. Her name is Ashley.
1. As of today I have been dating Daniel for 3 months!

Stand Up.

Alright. Dane Cook.

SSSSSOOOOOOO funny! I'm not a huge fan of listening to comedians becuase mostly they annoy me, but this guy is a keeper.

He can get a little crass, but I totally laugh anyway. It's weird. Normally I would be offended, but he actually seems like a nice guy, and because of this his vulgarity is a little less jarring. Not trying to justify, just saying, it's funny sh**. Ha!

Crybaby

I cry soooo much!

Last night I went to the gym with my personal muscley trainer and almost cried. I feel like such a baby when I say I can't but I guess it's my way of trying to save face when I actually can't do it.

Then I started talking about my insecurity with him, and totally cried. Then he was so nice and understanding and encouraging and I cried even more!

as my friend st. francis would say: Dear me, get some cajones! Love, me.

ps. st. francis: this is what i was "sad" about last night. more like, introspective and thankful and tired, and a little sad that i cry so much. :)

pps. the picture is not me. although i'm a little jealous of the antennae

Camping

I don't care how long or where. Camping is the best. Hopefully I'll be going camping this Sunday and I'm so looking forward to it.

Good food. Get to spend non-stop time with the ex-roomies and other incredible friends. Get to watch my bf stoke the fire. Get to drive through the beautiful mountains. etc....

love it!

Closed fist open heart

I am my mother. As much as I try to perfect her already perfection, I am exactly the same.

Anything that is hers is hers and you better not touch it, or you better replace it within seconds.

I like my things. I'm not willing to share. Why! Who cares! 

Ok. So I had a thought. I have a new roommate with whom I obviously share the fridge. I left a lone beer in there thinking, "I'll get to that." But I thought wrong. I should've thought, "Somebody else will get to that before I do." So mystery person drank my last cold one and it made me angry. I would never drink their stuff!

I decided why I, and my twin of a mother, are such horders. It's because we don't want to rely on anybody else for anything. So we have to protect what we've got.

Well you know what. I need people. I need their stuff sometimes and you know what? That's ok. We need each other. And I will leave an extra beer in the fridge for sharing's sake. 

Mr Rodger's eat your heart out.

IRONS IN THE FIRE

I am definitely too busy right now.

Well, not really busy... I've just been occupied every minute of my day.

And you know what? It's totally made my patience and reasoning go down the drain.

Things I probably wouldn't have noticed before I'm now fretting over and overreacting to. Sorry to all those who have experienced the tidal waves of my emotions recently.

Here's what I think. I'm gonna just have to tough it out through this season. Maybe after I move I will be less accounted for and more able to handle things.

I really enjoy having things to do. It gets pretty boring without it. So I'm just gonna learn to deal with everything and keep my patience even when I'm stretched a little far.